by Sarah Galvin

Intermission

I have thought of a way to make people less afraid of the rats
that infest the music venue where I work. We could have
an intermission in which someone wearing a cute plush rat
costume comes out on stage and dances. Then a banner will
drop that says “Rats” in colorful paper letters. The real rats
will appear to be merely part of a theme. Perhaps something
similar can be done to alleviate other fears, like anal sex and
abandonment. If you saw a big plush abandonment doing an
adorable dance, wouldn’t you feel better?

Design

I wonder when this umbrella will fall apart. Back in the
sixties, umbrellas were built to last, with steel bumpers that
vibrated with varying levels of intensity. I broke down a door
with one. I dug my own grave with one of those umbrellas
more times than I can remember, and it never even got
scratched. These days any umbrella under five hundred
dollars will burst into flames and give you hepatitis the
moment you step out of the house.

Empowerment

We should drive around smashing mailboxes
while our chauffer sits in the back of the Cadillac
making puff paint T-shirts.
It’s important for the chauffer to know
he can make his own T-shirts.
It’s important for us to know
we can smash our own mailboxes.
It’s important when we discover
that the Cadillac can drive itself,
but it’s scary when we find out
it has a mind of its own
and is slowly digesting us.